We really are just good friends after all:)

Greetings my fair bloggers!

Time has passed me by and i feel as though i've been hit by a bus and reversed over numerous times! But i'm loving life and managing to keep my upper lids from closing, before i dwell into an unconscious state of sleep!

I'm going o firstly elaborate a little bit further on my weekend.
As i mentioned in my previous post, we graced the drivers of the A1 grand Prix with our presence and support, sold burgers until we were dripping with the very sweat secreted by the glands of our skin and answered questions on camera until our cheeks were burning with shame! Man i think we brought Spur's name down:)

The evenings concluded the day with a dinner at Butcher's Block on Saterday night and sundowners on the deck of Joe kools on Sunday evening.
After escaping and dodging the Durban traffic at approximately 6:00pm we headed back to Roxy's house.
I then rounded off the evening with a dinner at Butcher's Block with the presence of my extended family. I approach the doors of Butcher's Block with slops, a skirt, sunglasses and all-not elegant at all! To my amusement, many of the family members commented on my basted tan. I however believe otherwise and question whether or not the glow of my skin was really a tan or merely a mask of dirt, from the races. A good day's appetite was well sufficed by a tender chicken breast smothered in a Cambembert and bacon sauce, complemented by a side dish of veg. The dinner was flushed down with my new favourite- Savannah Lite with a slice of lemon.
Lazy Lizzard was to be our next destination after the dinner (Roxy had attended a 21st and plans were to meet at Lazy's afterwards)
Slight alterations to the plan- we headed on home instead as our bodies were not coping with our mental capacity at this time of the evening!

Sunday evening, as mentioned before was spent on the deck of Joe Kools with a Cosmopolitan in one hand as the waves crashed against the piers of Durbans beach front.
The evening was beautiful and the air was fresh.
Two friends met up with Roxy and myself at Joe Kools- Anton and his friend Bryan.
The evening was spent just chilling at Joe's and ended off with a couple of dances on the dance floor of Joe kools. The crowd was good and the vibe was awesome!
Thank goodness Joe's is casual on a Sunday evening as i couldn't bear to wear heels after the long hours of standing!

We didn't end up leaving too late, knowing we had been up since like 6:00 and hadn't been home since. Varsity ended up being a little more than interesting on Monday morning, with the amounts of vitamins and tonics i swigged down.

So you thinking.... What's news right? Been waiting all this time to find out what this blog is all about? Here we go:

Remember my 'potentially-hot-friend' ? Well, we kinda ended up chatting about everything.
It had been a while since we had heard from each other via sms or whatever it may be.
We discussed where we sorta stand with each other and the conclsion is that we both decided we're gonna just be really good friends. i'm really stoked about this, as i never intended for anything more whatsoever. Ok ya, so i had a little bit of doubts and questions where our friendship was going etc but it's cool it's all cleared up now.

What makes the situation amusing though is that HE thought i had intentions for something more. That's how it came up. So obviously i'm like 'hang on buddy'. (I didn't say that but it was going through my head).
I nearly drove off the road when he replied to my first sms telling me how he's not up for a relationship at the moment but he thinks i'm an amazin and beautiful girl.
I'm like, who said anything about a relationship? Anyway.. we were both very honest witheach other and i told him i'm really not up for a relationship and that i'm happy we both feel the same way. I also apologized for making him think i had other intentions than just being a friend:) Haha.. so now we just really good friends (as we always were though). He's such a player though:) You don't even want to read some of the smses we send to each other:)
Well, we still do that and we still comfortable with each other, but now we know that it's othing more than friends:)
Typical rugby player.... goes straight to the head... or shall i say.... typical MALE:)
Remember i kept on writing in my previous posts of how i was concerned he may get the wrong impression?!?
Anyway, we probably gonna do coffee soon, which will be better than the usual 'club' environment, where we can't hear four words from each other.

My ex? Well, he still keeps initiating the smses and out of courtesy i respond, cause i'm not playing any games or anything and at least he still puts in the effort hey.
At the moment i'm enjoying life and love being single!

Anyway, today was a long day of varsity, as i had speech clinic- my 5year old client. He's really adorable! Finishing at five, i was told to get ready as dinner was going to be at John Dory's tonight. I wasn't really hungry and i'm on a whole new fitness plan. This therefore encouraged me to stick to a John House Salad-Awesome.

At the moment, my car is in for an overall service, which is often frustrating in times of need! To my surprise my dad bought me sound for my car which is to be installed tomorrow morning. I'm picking it up tomorrow after varsity.

Anyway.. think that's gonna be it for now. Spoken way too much!
May edit another post a little later if i have the time!
Otherwise fairwell my bloggers*
Mwah*

Blood, sweat and tears...

The buzzing of the alarm clock, placed strategically next to my bed becomes my early morning headache, whilst my duvet suffocates me as i roll out of bed at 5:30am on Saterday morning.
The day was a scorcher and the sun sucked every water particle form my body as we departed my house.

Roxy and myself, after arring at the A1-Grand Prix, were escorted to the tents at which we had to proceed with our 'promotions'. So much for promoting! The two of us ended up behind the 'cash desk', consisting of one calculator and one Lacoste box for the float. All was good on Saterday and we managed pretty well. Sunday however hit us like a dog on heat!!
The tent was a mad house! Only having three grillers and three girls managing the cash, we were spinning! The crowds just kept on coming! Murphy's law, during the rush of it all, they had to close us down because our trading license had an error or something so minor as that.
Half the customers had to be redirected to 'Moodley's Breyani' because Spur was officially closed.

What made the weekend most enjoyable was engaging with the other spectators as well as a cameraman and his little sidekick. Roxy and i were soaking in the morning's sun on the grass, as we had a full view of the cars passing. We were then approached by these two Smurfs running around the grassy lawn, catching as much of a crowd as possible. We were initially asked by them if we were willing to be interviewed so obviously we agreed.
The Interview consisted of the following questions and anwswers:

Interviewer: So how are you feeling about today
Us: Oh it's an absolutely amazing day and we wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now..
yak yak yak...It's going to be really exciting...yak yak yak...

Interviewer: So you guys watch the Grand Prix often or support the Grand Prix?
Us: Aaaahh.... ya we really dig the whole atmosphere of it and checkin out the cars etc...yak yak

Interviewer: So which team do you support?
Us: (pause)...(look at each other)...(pause)...
Roxy: I don't know, Claire which team do you support:)
Claire..(pause)...(pause)
Roxy: The Porcsh!!!

.....How blind...... wait for it.......

Interviewer: Ok... and how do you think South Africa will do?
Us: (pause)...ummmmm.....(sweating)...
Roxy: Hopefully first, second or third!!!!

.....ya ok don't say anything!......

Don't know whether that one's going on t.v;)

Anyway... I think i'm gonna continue this post tomorow and let you in on a little more. I've only covered like 1/4 of my weekend so hang tight, sleep tight and see ya tomorrow.

Mwah*

A little bit of Scaramouch...

Hey guys!

Just got back home from work now. Posted a blog a little earlier before work.
Work was ok. Little bit of a waste of time, but what the hell... i get paid for it:)
tonight was a little different though as my friend, Teri only has her learners but she's driving around everywhere with her car.

A little bit on the safe side, she wanted me to drive the car to the petrol station and fill up her car, as she feared she would take out the petrol pumps, the wall or any other surrounding car. At least somebody trusts my driving! So after arriving there, the 'quick' stop took a little longert than expected. She wanted me to pumpo up the right froint tyre, as it was looking really flat. Turns out it was a puncture.

Never fear though.. The spanner becomes useful at this time. Or does it? We flip up the boot and hook the spanner onto the bolts. Or at least attempt to. I hadn't known this but apparently you get these special 'locked-in' bolts to prevent one stealing your tyres?? Huh? Why?
Anyway... cause it was her brothers car, it took us some time to figure this out.
Luckily we had the 'key' to unlock these fancy bolts or however it works! (Sarcasm)- no we didn't have the key!! Moving along, eventually they organised that foam that you put in the tyres and i think that worked in the meantime?

Well... after work i went to Scaramouch. After ordering my new delight Savannah with a slice of lemon and a straw (i know you laugh, but i prefer drinking out of a straw. It doesn't look too appealing having a girl swig out of the bottle i think. Some can pull it off but others it's a no no)
Anyway, we ended up chatting to two guys, the one is currently my friends boyfriend (don't think anything- i respect my friends) and the other one being his friend. Now his friend, i've seen pretty much everywhere! Being it work, rugby, 80's, 54.. hes there. So he kinda gave me a friendly smile and greeting and by the end of the evening we were chatting away. Turns out, he's a really great guy and a rugby player... Aaarghh... think i should stay away from the rugby players for a while:) time goes so quickly though and before i knew it, it was time to head home(considering i have varsity tomorrow:()
Funny how i've seen him like evrywhere and now cause i've met him, he'l probably fall off the face of the earth!

Anyway.. thats just a little update for now! Gotta sleep now and my computer is gettin slower and slower as we speak!
Sweet dreams*

The beats of my heart...

As i climb into the car and turn on the ignition, i slip my cd into the player and drift into another world...

Ever realised how many thoughts skip through your mind either on the way to or from work or varsity. Or for that fact, if you go anywhere? It's like you enter another world where everything becomes a little more than perfect. Your eyes start sketching the scenery as you gaze passed the glistening car windows, as the sun's warmth envelops your and the beams of sunshine glisten, as it reflects off the car's interior. Your cheeks are brushed with the scent of the fresh morning's breeze, as your arms reflect the golden colour of the sun's glow. You take a deep breath and inhale the freshly scent of a new day...

The dancing tunes and the crisp voices form a new melody inside my head. The meoldy takes me by the hand and guides me into a presence of peace and sanity...

As i mellow and sink into the voices of the lecturers and the spinning thoughts in my head, i recite the songs in my head, over and over again.
After every lecture, i'm able to take out my mp3 player and switch off-back into that mode that had welcomed me into a new day. As i scan the room, i begin to notice the people and the environment in which i sit. Everything is then seen in a different light. I then become oblivious to my environment and allow the words of every songs to sink into my heart, as the songs dance around in my head.

My life is seen as a movie before me. The words and stories of each song become so real to my life and i find myself matching my experiences to every song, like a puzzle.
Ocassionally, i'd find a song slipping beyond my thoughts and enter my heart, where it becomes so deeply moulded into my heart- a melody of my life.

As i get nudged on the arm, i slowly lift my head and hop off the cloud i found myself floating on. Lectures begin yet again...

As the day starts to wrap itself up, music becomes my best friend once again as i slip into the world of my own thoughts and the melodys they reveal. The trip home, almost seems much better.

Ever realise how much you think when you're in the car or when you're listening to music?
You may step into your car with the world on your shoulders, yet we tend to leave pieces of our problems along the way home.

My music then becomes my bednight kiss as i roll over and close my eyes. Once again, my eyes become weary and hypnotised with every song, as my heart beat slows down to nothing but a beat to the music*

Picking up the crumbs...

Hey all!

It's stinking hot and slowly but surely i'm peeling the gel off my nails one by one, watching the French pieces flake before me. Isn't this suppose to be an indication of nerves or summin? Well, i don't think i am.

I got a lot on my mind though and sometimes i really despise the fact that girls carry too many emotions. More so than guys? Ok so that's a stereotypical statement to make. I know guys can be emotional too i guess. Even when it comes to relationships. Somehow they seem to handle it better though right? Girls tend to carry it over their heads for way too long!

Girls become exceptionally sentimental, particularly in a relationship. They want to keep the photos, the letters, and anything possible that will remind them of where they've been and who they've known. Take note the next time you enter a girls room again.
Girls collect the crumbs they leave behind as they walk along the path of life. Guys however leave them behind, knowing well that the crumbs are there for a reason and are meant to stay. Little do we know, what an effect these memories have on us later in life. We tend to look back at previous events or stages in our life and sometimes experience a feeling of contentment, so much that you may even want to go back. Or every so often, as we stumble across these memories, we cannot help but fight back the lump in our throats.
How do we overcome these feelings? Or do we? It's obviously innate in every person to come to some form of realisation, where they have been in comparison to where they are now.

Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to go back. Back to those memories we now cherish.
What would we have changed? How would we have changed the situation or altered it to how we feel today? As much as it sounds as though i'm wishing my life away, i'm not. I'm justtrying to think of how maybe things would have been today if i had made alternative decisions, met different people or reacted differently in a situation. Sometimes i think i've screwed up totally with various parts in my life. Things i should or shouldnt have said. Things i should or shouldn't have done. And people i should have kept closer to heart than those who were merely known as 'friends'.

Out of all honesty, yes there are some things i would have changed, but maybe not all of it. Like they say, if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger right?

I can see it now. When situations and reasonings to life seemed so transparent and opaque back then and appeared distant before my eyes, has become more distinct and fine now. Only now do i realise what sort of story life tells and and what picture it paints. However, it only comes visible to me as a blur. As life carries on, the picture becomes more define.

Anyway, it's just a thought.
I stumbled across these lyrics from the band The Fray. Many of you may have only become familiar of them now. The lyrics are touching and often it reminds me of a friend of mine. As i say, sometimes i wish i could go back in time and alter the situation a bit.
Just enough to make things a little better than what they are today.

If you ever get the time, listen to the song.

How To Save A Life The Fray lyrics
Artist: The Fray
Album: How To Save A Life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through

Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along

And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Who am i???

Ha ha... Thought this was perfect for my post:)

Just been doing some pondering over the weekend and considering i'm still highly drugged up on medication from being sick over the previous week, i spent the lectures of today half dozing off and having constant intervals of self analysis. I also mentioned in my previous post that i had a lot on my mind. I'm not going to share with you all my thoughts and concerns at the moment, as some of them have become really cumbersome for me to get my head around and i really am struggling to overcome these concerns. However, i do know that sooner or later......

I'l get over it:)

Well, having spent a fair amount of evenings out in Durban being it 80's, Joe's or 54, it has enabled me to draw some conclusions to a number of questions of mine.

Firstly, i have mentioned to you that i have no intentions whatsoever to go out just for the sake of 'being' with someone or hooking up. I think a lot of my friends thought of me otherwise.

It's not that i have anything against it or anything but i'm just not that type of girl i guess.

And i guess i've known it from the start. I just find that personally i couldn't hook up with someone i barely know. Then again, i shouldn't talk too soon, i did kind of hook up with my ex last new years and i didn't really know him then i guess....oops.

I don't know, maybe i speak too soon but i don't think i'm that sort of person?

I think i'm a one-guy at a time sort of girl. I'm sure by reading my posts and knowing me, a lot of you may realise this about me. When i like a guy, i really like a guy. On that note i'm REALLY fussy with guys. So lets just say i meet a guy. If there is some form of attraction, i'l be able to get over the guy pretty easily and move on. However, if i've liked a guy for a while and let's just say i really like him, it'll take me a while to get over it. But that's only in situations, where i know the guy is pretty keen as well. I'm not gonna sit and dwell on a guy if he doesn't like me. Straight forward, i'l move on. But things like ex's and 'possibles' are such a downfall for me hey. However i think i've grown a lot stronger since my previous break up and i think i can handle it better now. And i think i'm babbling and contradicting myself heavily in this paragraph so i'm just gonna move on...:) Basically what i'm trying to say is, i can't be with one guy the one night and another guy the other night. Get the point?

On that note... why is it that when somebody tends to go out a lot or head off for a good night in Durban, a lot of people classify them as being 'dodge' or 'gone off the rails'? What is that? I think it occurs a lot in the context of the church. I'm sure a lot of my friends see me as being 'dodge' now. Especially those i sat religiously in church with. Don't worry guys, i'm still the same person inside and out. Many people tend to generalize or stereotype when it comes to going out, drinking or whatever it may be. I'm sure a lot of you know what i mean and probably experienced the same judgements.

I just want to say that i still feel the same, i still have the same emotions and fears and i still share a one on one, day to day relationship with God. Just like anybody, i still have my concerns and possible doubts here and there but i'm still the same person you once knew or once met.

I'm sorry if i've made my relationship with God seem 'wish-washed', but i'm using it merely as an example in this blog, rather than the basis of this post. I think in time, i will post a new post on my spiritual basis with God and the possible questions which arise within myself.

Point is, don't judge me because of my choices in this particular area of my life. Please don't classify me as another servant of God gone 'dodge'. I still carry the same morals and beliefs and even though my decisons and motives may have changed here and there, i'm still me:)

So thanks to all those friends of mine that still see the same person they knew when we first met and all those who may have forgiven or excused any unjustifiable things i may have done to alter your views of me.

Anyway.. i'm sorry for all the babble. I think this medication is still in the bloodstream!

Thanks for hearing me out! I would alsolove to hear what you guys have to say!

I'm off to sleep now! Got another long day ahead of me tomorrow with speech clinic....

Sweet dreams*

So much to do, such little time...

Okay, so you gotta give me a little bit of a break regarding my blog!
Weekends...expect a little delay:)

Well, it all began friday. Woke up a little later than the usual 6:00, took a morning shower and departed for a couple hours worth lectures. What was suppose to be from like 12:00 to 2:00 ended up being only an hour or so lecture which wasn't to my objection at all obviously.
Lauren and i decided to end the week off with a creamy cup of cuppacino provided by the very well known Kloof coffee shop, Sprigs. The aroma of their Bran muffins eventually swayed us into sharing one between the two of us. Anyway, i think i mentioned this in my previous blog? Not sure but we wont dwell on thaat for too long.

Friday evenings are usually spent at the doors of the good ol Spur restaurant, hostessing.
I really don't have a problem with this,considering my shifts span from roughly 5:00-9:00pm and i get to indulge in their savoury veg and fresh bar, complementing the meal off with a good cup of coffee. So if i ever intend going out afterwards, which is more than likely, time is not a problem. and my social life is not affected by the hours i have to work.

Saterday hit me faster than what i knew. I managed to roll out of bed and hit the Pavillion AGAIN for like the third or fourth weekend in a row. My mother and i decided to hit the shops again. We arrived there at like 9:00am and only left at like 2:00pm. It was however to the best of my advantage, as i managed to walk away with a new top, skirt, earings, underwear and makeup. We managed to fit in a quick lunch at Centre coart, consisting of tortilla wraps, filled with creamy spinach and mushrooms, accompanied by a salad and of coarse... cuppacino:)

By the time we arrived home, it was time to get ready for the rugby at ABSA stadium- Sharks vs. Highlanders. After noticing the rain on the way back, i came to the conclusion the hairstraightner was not even an option. All ready to go, we pump up the music and vibe ourselves up for the rugby. As always, the crowd was a vibe and considering we had season tickets, we were so close to the players, we could just about smell their sweat:) We were about four rows from the field. And Francois Steyn is really not as small as he looks on t.v. He's actually huge!!
After fulfilling the cravings for Dinky Donuts, we managed to settle down an hour before the game. the game started at 8:30pm. The surrounding crowd, as i said was really awesome! It shows you what a difference the crowd makes!

After a pretty intense game with the Sharks beating the highlanders, we decided to hover on the field a bit before getting ready for 80s. The sharks players ran right passed us and we were surrounded by sharks players- (faint)- kidding:)

Anyway.. we hit 80's and the evening was really eventfull. Time waved us goodbye as we only ended up arriving back home at roughly 3:30am. There was this one guy that was determined to get me to dance at the top, above the dancefloor. A lot of the more 'confident' sort of girls enjoy dancing up there.Sometimes you could get a nice crowd of friends up there and it'l be loads of fun but this crowd was a little less appealing, with two girls rubbing themsleves up against each other, obviously one presenting with just a bikini top and the other one balancing so far on the beam, that a little more was revealed than her little denim mini. So i was pretty persistant with this guy that the floor was the better option for me. Look at first i was like 'boo ha ha, no thanks' when he asked me to join him, then he kept on asking the whole night!
What made it a little less appealing was that he was really sweaty and he was persistant on wrapping both his arms around me until i was drippig and drenched in his sweat from head to toe. Sorry if it sounds like stuck up and all but i was like...um.... k... i'm just gonna go to the bathroom now.... I didn't wanna be mean.

I really can't tell you the whole evening of 80's as that would leave me here forever and i've had min sleep! So moving on, i crashed on my bed. Was woken up sparrow's fart again this morning to exchange a couple of clothes for my mother at Sanlam. I had to go early as we intended meeting my family for lunch, for my aaunts birthday. So there i was, weary-eyed and bushy-tailed. I could bearly function. Rolling into the car, my dad and i headed off to Sanlam, arriving back at 11:00 and got ready for the lunch at Lestrada (hillcrest). After writing all this, i realise we eat out a lot! Anyway lunch was good, service was a little below average and price was a little above quality. We sat there like the whole afternoon, only arriving back home at 4:00.

That's it. That was my weekend. Tomorrow if i get the time, i'm gonna elaborate a little further. Why? Well, a lot went thorugh my head this weekend and a lot of decisions were kind of made. It was a good weekend, but also a little bit of a bummer. Will try let you in on a little tomorrow k? At the moment, i don't think im gonna get up very easily for varsity tomo! It's also gonna be a long day....

Thanks guys for your patience!
Have a great day tomo!
Mwah*

Nice one!!!

My darling husband,

Before you return from your overseas trip, I want to let you know about alittle accident I had with your pick up truck.
Fortunately, it was not toobad and I didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. Infact, about 5 seconds after it was over, I felt much better and was back tomy happy, smiling self! I didn't see any reason to notify the police or ourinsurance agency.

I was coming home from K Mart, and when I turned into the driveway Iaccidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake! Thegarage door is slightly bent but your 4x4, fortunately, came to a halt whenit bumped into your car. Lucky for you, your motorcycle was spared.I am really sorry, darling. But with your kind-hearted, giving, lovingpersonality I'm positive you will forgive me.

Remember how much I love youand care for you, my sweetheart. Enclosed is a picture of my little"accident."
Have a safe trip home.
Oh yes, before I forget...
Your girlfriend called.
Your loving wife.
XoXoX

You're how old???

Male or female, ever happened to you?
Meet a potential...start chatting...'you're how old?'

I find it's been happening a lot lately! The younger generation are starting to look much older!
It's happened on numerous occassions now! The guys nowadays are built to be rugby players, dressed to be models, yet turn out to be younger than expected!
Maybe it's the same with girls i guess. I heard a lot of the guys complaining about the same issue:
'She's still in school!!' ....Sound familiar Clint? Only kidding:)

Well, was working the other night and my friend Teri and i were dared to go introduce ourselves to this potentially good looking guy, which may i add, i think his style of dress played a larger part than the 'pretty face' that walked through the door. Well, shy as i may be at times, i gave in to Teri's constant nagging and pleading. So we approached the table and introduced ourselves.

Ok so i kinda just followed the flow of it all. Turns out this guy had a good sense of humour, was well mannered, played rugby (how did i guess:) and a generally good , fun guy to be with. After a good hour or so, we find out he was only 18! Say what?? You would never think so!

Moving on! Listening to 5fm at the moment and they advertising this rock concert happening in both Johannesberg and Cape Town. I find it such a bummer that they not bringing it to Durban! That brings me back to the time i went to the Coca Cola Colab Mix a year ago! Was so awesome!
Ross (ex) actually bought me a ticket as a surprise. I still remember it was on the public holiday. The whole day was spent at the ABSA stadium! The ques were ridiculous and as we managed to shuffle around and settle in our seats, the bands proceeded. Ross hadn't attended the concert with me, as he was in Jo berg, so i went with his friends.
The day was amazing, however i still remember receiving an sms about an assignment being due the next day. Problem was, i hadn't started yet! So the evening hadn't ended after Metallica hovering the stage at the ABSA stadium, but rather at 4:00 in the morning, as i signed the final page of my assignment. My marks weren't very promising may i add.

So this year, i may seither pend the day moping about the absence of the concert in Durban this year, or...just go to Joberg! That would be actually pretty cool! Gonna look into that one!

Well, i've just arrived back from varsity and i always experience such contentment on a Friday afternoon! It's the weekend! Went for coffee with Lauren at Sprigs.
One question: Why do we tip them again?
It's the first time i've been there but it's actually a place where you go up and place your orders. You may either fetch your own food or they will bring it to you. At the end. You go up to the front and pay. So what do you do again? I dunno, maybe some of you will understand the concept a bit more than myself. Otherwise the cuppacino and bran muffin was great.

These are my intentions and whereabouts so far:

Tonight: Work and probably summin after. It won't be too much of an eventfull evening though, as my overdose on medication has lead me to a state of morbidity and weakness! (still a little sick and on antibiotics- may i add it was much of a challenge staying awake through a triple lecture and havimng to drive home afterwards!)

Tomorrow: Hitting the Pavillion again with my mother- she tends to hold my dads credit card which is always a bonus, and my negotiating skills always serves as an advantage in times like these:)

Tomorrow night: Nowhere else but the Sharks vs Highlanders rugby match at Durban ABSA stadium! You better all be there! 80s after? Depends where our energy levels are at and the crowd, but may be a possibility. And Roxy's got season tickets- always a benefit!

Sunday: My aunts birthday. So we probably gonna end up at John Dory's for lunch. I'm HOPING as much as posssible to attend church in either the morning or evening!

Otherwise guys, i'll keep you updated as much as possible!
Hope this blog didn't bore you too much my friends*

A footprint on my heart...

So i'm standing at the same welcoming doors of my work when he approaches me with bloodshot eyes and bushy hair. My heart could do nothing but bleed love for him.

About two months ago a well recommended waitor, became a companion of mine and a friend. His needs were just like any others and his love and care for others was expressed by his every action and deed. His smile would ignite the restaurant with warmth and happiness. His heart would embrace one and envelop them with a feeling of security. He was a friend to all. And he is surely missed.

It all began when he told me about his father's 'cognitive impairment'. The traditional yet offensive term is otherwise known as 'mental retardation'. This term has now become discreet to many as it carries a negative connotation and suggests inaccurate manifestations on the individual itself. 'Cognitive impairment' has now become the more accurate and more 'respectful' term in the health profession than 'mental retardation'.

Anyway, this friend told me he had to phone in the morning and book his father into mental institution, as his father was defficating (sorry about spelling) everywhere in the house. I don't know what the more polite way of putting it is, but to put it bluntly, he wouldn't walk to the toilet, but would simply do it where ever he walked in the house, whether it be his bed or the living room. There were other manifestations he described to me such as talking to himself or do things like roll out of the bed and lie there for hours.

To cut a long story short, two weeks later, after he had resigned from the same restaurant where i work. Both him and his mother found his dad on the bedroom floor, dead. Apparantly he had been lying there for two days.I don't know the exact story and i'm really not the one to post a story just for discussion but i have a point to this one.

Going into work the other day, a work colleage of mine tells me that this waitor, of whom's father had passed away, is now in the institution in Maritzberg. I brush a false story off very likely and tend to keep this information discreet. However tonight he approached the same doors again. Astonished to see him, of coarse i was. And i'm even ashamed to say that i was a little concerned at the time with what he may do next. As heartless as it sounds, one often becomes a little weary in these situations. . Of coarse i will take my precautions, but it made me realise otherwise.

As ashamed as i was to believe, i came to the conclusion that he's just like all of us.
He's still got the same heart as he had back then surely and he still needs some form of comfort and security from someone regardless, as we all do. He's on Prozac at the moment and apparently he's been released. What concerns me, is that everybody looks at him like he's a disease or an infection now. What was a loving, generous character before has now become a disease to society. He's infectious. Infectious enough that majority of the people he once called a friend, is heartless enough to walk away and pretend he never existed. The chuckles and whispers, enveloping his presence, i'm sure must be daunting for him.

We nod off to sleep in the evenings knowing everything is going to be ok at sunrise. That the friends we have today are an engraving on our hearts. They chisel their words into our hearts, as our families mould us into becoming a fine masterpiece.

But what if we lose everything we ever gained? What if these friends walk away from you in the span of a day or week? All it takes is a spread of word and that's it. You become another infectious disease.

Well, to me he's still the friendly, generous companion i once knew. He's got dreams and fears, just like everybody else. He's left a footprint on my heart today, and that's special to me*

To all the cupids out there...

G'day my friendly bloggers*

Sorry it's been a while. Actually it hasn't been too long i guess?

Well, i knew it had to happen sooner or later! I'm sick!
Now i'm not usually the one to spring outta my bed and race to the doctor the moment i feel a little tingle in the throat or a little faint. I usually just carry it over my head. My varsity, however requested a doctors certificate, if any lectures should be missed.

So last night, in the state i was in and not being able to get outta bed this morning, a visited to the doctor was intended and a doctors certificate issued. It has been suggested i stay the rest of the week off but i know my lecturers will have a fit. Sick or not.. you have to be there.

So the start of the year has turned out to be, let's just say... a little stressful and much is expected of us. Now i know i might blab a little in this blog but i'm just gonna let you in on a little of what our coarse is about, as many of you are unfamiliar with what the coarse entails and what an audiologist does.

One of the modules, otherwise known as 'Rehabilitation Technology' has become of much interest to me. This is the exciting, yet excellence- demanding part of of being an audiologist.

Part of this module requires us understanding the differnt types of hearing aids and how they function, as well as any other forms of hearing devices. This requires us having to identfy the structure of a clients ear and fit a hearing mould accordingly. Now many of you may know that 'putty-like' paste the dentist uses to mould your teeth, jaw etc.It's like that. It's taking a mould of the client's internal ear structure. Why i say it demands excellence and skill is because we as audiology students are suppose to mould this 'putty' as close to the tympanic membrane (eardrum) as possible, without rupturing or damaging the eardrum. This year, we have to do it on each other. This enables us to understand what it's like being in the client's position.

Now, hearing aids you must understand cost an arm and a leg! Our varsit usually sell standard hearing aids from about R2500. Thats just for one hearing aid though i.e. one ear.

However, to blow you off your seats, hearing aids can be as expensive as R40 000 for just one hearing aid! That's it! R40 000 for one ear! And medical aid obviously doesn't always cover it.

Well that obviously serves as a benfit to the audios out there.

Moving on. Yesterday i had speech clinic and met my client for the first time. He's so sweet and he laughs at me all the time. Ok so i know that happens with most people and it's nothing new:)

But ya othr than that, varsity's been very busy at the moment. Tomorrow i've got the audio clinic and probably gettin a client there too. Last year we had adult clients to test etc, but this year it's paediatrics which will be pretty exciting. Now you probably wondering why adults before kids? Well actually, testing a child's hearing is more challenging and requires more skill than the adults. Later on we will be doing electrophysiology on the adults though, which requires us to record and monitor the brainwaves in relation to the persons ability to hear a sound etc.

Moving on from that blab... How's everybody's valentines? Would be great to hear what all of you did this year, if anything! Anyway, valentines, as i said is spent lying in bed, sick:( Besides, i got no valentines this year (not that i have a problem with that) Ok ya so i guess it would be nice to go out to dinner or do summin, but maybe next year hey. My parents are going out to dinner as well as Carla and my bro. So i'm at home alone:)

Anyway, why do so many people despise valentines? I mean it's really not that much of a deal! For all those single people out there complaining of not having a valentine, it really aint such a big deal! I'm single and i'm fine with it! look i'm not saying that i love ivalentines, but it's just one of those days that has never really crossed my mind. I think it's pretty cute with all the gifts etc. And why do guys feel so pressurized into buying things or taking their girlfriends out? Trust me, the girls really don't give what restaurant you take them to or whether you buy them a single rose or the whole florist! It's the whole concept of the day. And don't use that excuse that 'everyday should be valentines day and we don't need one day to express our love'.

Well, history shows that Valentines day originated in 270AD, where the Roman men were required to be recruited as soldiors. The Roman Empire, Claudius felt that tthe men would not make good soldiors as they were too emotionally attached to their families. He therefore banned marriage. The bishop, Valentine, was aware of the heartache these men had to go through and met up with them to join them in a sacrament of matrimony.The emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the roman gods, to save him from certain execution. Valentine refused to recognize Roman Gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, knowing the consequences fully. He wass then executed on February 24, 270.

The phrase 'From your Valentine' actually comes from when Valentine was in jail. His jailor Asterius had a daughter of whom was blind and Asterius requested that Valentine heal her. Her sight was restored and just before Valentine was executed, he asked for a piece of paper and wrote a fairwell masseage to her saying "From your Valentine". THat was just a little bit of history insight for you guys. Unlike many people, i quite enjoy history.

Anyway, next weekend i've been asked to sell hamburgers at the Grand Prix which will be awesome! Ther's just two of us doing it i think and we getting paid for it. The pay is fair, but it should be loads of fun anyway. I'm not even worried about that!

Other than that guys, i think i'm gonna say fairwell for now. i'l try my best to fit another blog in a little later this evening but i'm sure i've kept you reading for long enough!

Take care my fellowed friends!
Mwah*

Would you lie with me and just forget the world...

*Just a thought...( sorry if i sound like a tree hugger or summin like that)

As i flip through the pages of a book, so do i flip through the pages of my life.
The numbers of the pages, become the days recorded and i lie here reviving every living memory in my head. Each memory becomes a chapter in my life, whether it be heartbreak or joy.
They are always there.
They can be disguised as your worst nightmare, gnawing at every thought produced or may even rip your self esteem to shreds. These memories may serve as stepping stones, keeping us afloat, when we often forget who we are. Yet we still tend to hold onto them.

Sometimes i find myself tracing my footsteps into the past. Who i was. What i believed. Who were my friends and my support. I find it fascinating to see how our lives have changed over the years. How our character has changed and who we are. I don't think i could erase any of these memories, whether being good or bad.

If one looks back, it is so easy to pick up the scattered pieces we leave behind in life.
Think about your first true group of friends, your first girl/boyfriend or your first kiss. Our lives tell a whole story. I still have the photos strategically placed in a file, as if a chapter in my life was now closed. It's scary to think we just slap our lives in a book.

The music i listened to at the time has now become a melody of fairwell.I find it so strange that whenever i stumble across a song i played during a certain stage in my life, it takes me back to that moment and it were as if i were there again.
It's sometimes so scary to think we pack away our lives as the world turns. As we slap the memories onto a new, blank page everyday, we often forget to take the time to treasure these moments. We wish our lives away too much. We sit in anticipation, staring at the blank pages before us and never notice the story of today.

Someday and probably sooner than expected, this stage in my life is going to merely serve as another chapter in life. One day i'm going to read the book of my life and this is the song that will be playing over and over in my head:

Snow Patrol Chasing Cars Lyrics

We'll do it all Everything On our own
We don't need Anything Or anyone
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know How to say How I feel
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time Chasing cars Around our heads
I need your grace To remind me To find my own
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am All that I ever was Is here in your perfect eyes
They're all I can see
I don't know where Confused about how as well
Just know that these things Will never change for us at all

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

So much for the hairstraightner!

Hey all my little noo noo bugs out there!

Thanks for all your comments guys! Not that any of them show any love whatsoever:) And on that note... Steph, as a best friend... you should be taking my side and stop agreeing with all the guys!!!:) Anyway, let me put this straight guys. I really REALLY am not that bad when it comes to guys! It's just good conversation, that's all! How many of you AlwAys ask me.."So who's new?" I guess this is my way of putting things straight. You guys make me feel so bad now:) But anyway, i think a lot when i write so if i babble, it's merely a self-analysis of my own life, it's not intended whatsoever to bore you:guys:)

Anyway... my weekend.
I think i've already told you about Friday night- had to work and missed both the 21st and the rugby.
Saterday i had to roll outta bed again and take my car in for a service.
Had to sort out the shocks, tyres, wheel allignments and so it goes on. Cost:R3100
Having some time to spare, we headed off to the Pavillion in my dad's car. I walked away with a pair of black, pointy shoes from MIA, in which somehow i managed to get my mom to pay:)

Anyway, as buggard as anything, i headed off to a braai at Roxy's house. It was a combination of family and friend's in celebration of her birthday. the evening consisted of a few snacks and a number of different cocktails including the good old Cosmopolitan! A heavy storm broke loose, leaving a number of broken trees obstructing some of the roads in Kloof.
54 was our next destination! After having the girls flock to use the GHD hairstraightner, slap on the makeup, slip into the heels and short skirts, we only ended up arriving at 54 at roughly 10:30.

54's crowd consisted of those being in their 20's( early and late) which made the environment more pleasant and the evening more enjoyable. As i have mentioned before, i have never been much of a 54 fan. Reasons being that you walk out the doors with your clothes and hair honing of smoke and your clothes stinking of stale alcohol! Anyway, i really had a good evening last night as we gathered on the dancefloor and clicked our fingers to the beat of the music. The people were really friendly and the music attracted the right crowds. Anyway, it ended up being about six of us and man, did we have a good time. It was a very differnet crowd than usual. Often you could walk into 54 and acknowledge a number of people, whereas last night there was like hardly anyone i could recognise. The crowd wasn't familiar at all. Maybe that's what made it so good?

After many hours of dancing and throbbing feet, we ended up leaving at 3:00am. Yip that's pretty late i guess. But it really didn't seem so late cause we were having so much fun. By this time, our hair was huge. So much for the hairstraightner! After blindly driving though the thick mist, we managed to arrive back home.

I stayed over at Roxy's for the night. Well, it was only a couple of hours really and as i got home, i crashed on my bed for a couple of minutes. Lunchtime arrived and it was decided that we were tohave lunch at Spur. Now i know many of you are chuckling under your breaths and asking "why spur?"

My appetite was 'attended to' with tender chicken kebabs and three portions of vegetables including creamy spinach, buternut and mixed veg (kinda like au gratin).

My afternoon consisted of coffee at Kev's house. Actually, coming from Spur, i didn't have any coffee but we just chilled anyway. After arriving home, i had some varsity work to attend to. I was hoping to finish it before going to church but was unsuccessful.

Now i'm buggard, blogging and pondering upon my weekend;)

i think i may add in another blog a little later tonight.

If not, have an absolutley fabulous evening my friends!

Sweet dreams*

Mwah*

A little of this and that...

Ok i apologise to all those males out there who had to open my blog and be enlightened by pictures of really good looking models for Dolce and Gabbana!Actually, this is Dolce and Gabbana's new model. Secondly i would like to thank Carla and apologise if i have taken her limelight, as she was the one that sent these to me.Now i'm not into a guy with hectic, overbulging muscles, but this is guy isn't bad at all!

Anyway, to save the males, i thought i would keep that part of the blog and enlighten you with my day. Headed off to varsity today and was actually pretty buggard this morning! Had to roll out of bed and actually get my act into gear. What we assumed to be a fair, short day, actually turned out to be a longer day than expected, which left us feeling exhausted and flabagasted. Now i know, Brett's going to have his little say and leave a comment regarding how short a varsity day is in comparison to all those working. But it really can be stressfull being a student at times! And it looks like it's going to be a heavy year ahead of us.

Ok, moving along... A flat tyre!

That's it! On the way through Waterfall, my car's wheel gave in. Luckily Lauren and i were close enough to a garage to have it changed, otherwise the two of us would look like idiots standing at the side of the road! Between the two of us, we've always experienced car problems either to or from varsity! Murphy's law, it always happens on a test date, before clinic or before presentations. One of the lecturers still holds it against us to this day that we were late for a test, because we broke down on the way to varsity, in our first year!

Anyway, i've always wanted to change a tyre but today i was a little reluctant to change it, considering i had four guys changing it for me. Why four guys??? Doesn't it only require one guy? I always thought changing a tyre was an easier thing but obviously not?

After arriving home, i just wanted to crash! Made myself a cuppa tea and a toasted feta sandwhich (which is weighless may i add) and parked off in front of the t.v. until i was finished. I crashed on my bed and what was only suppose to be an afternoon nap ended up to be a two hour sleep! My intentions were to wake up, and spend an hour getting ready for work. Well, turns out i woke up, having to be at work in 10minutes! I slapped on the makeup, quickly tossed my hair in a birds nest style and climbed into my work clothes!

Was so bumbed! my options for this evening were:

A) My schoolfriend's 21st. Theme: Never have i ever worn

B) Rugby at ABSA stadium: Sharks vs Warratahs

C) Work

Well, actually it didn't end up being an option at all cause i had to work... aaaargh!

They wouldn't let me off work! Anyway, didn't sulk about it and made the best of my evening. Was a good evening. I didn't go out or anything afterwards considering i need to catch up on some sleep. I watched the t.v. through the glass window of my work though. A gentleman felt my pain. " I had four tickets to watch the game but my wife and kids wanted to come to Spur", followed by a roll of the eyes. Shame, what a good man!

Well, thats my story for today i guess. My plans for tomorrow?

We, gotta wake up sparrows fart again and take my car in for a service then hit the Pavillion.

Tomorrow night i'm going to Roxy's house for a braai and there's gonna be quite a few people there i think. Shorne is going to be there too. He was the guy i met at work last night, which i mentioned in my previous blog. It will be fun! We might go out afterwards. I don't know where though. Oh and next Saterday, i'm DEFINATELY going to the game again! It's in Durban again at 8:30pm. Gotta be fun!

Will keep you update about life and all!

Mwah*

How pathetic can i get:)

Hey guys!

Firstly, Thanks so much for your comments on my previous blog. You guys have really put things into perspective for me. I really think i'm being such a girl about everything! However,on a girls defense, i think it's completely stereotypical to suggest that guys are always the one's to take the plunge:)

To be honest with you, if it were any other guy then i wouldn't be so defensive but i think it's the whole '5years of friendship' idea that makes me more weary.Why not take the plunge and let him know how i feel?Actually, we've opened up to each other about our feelings before.Yip, we were both keen. But then, that was it and i think his feelings have kind of changed since then.I don't know what really happened?This was like last year January. I hadn't had been seeing him so much then. So whether i told him now or not, it wouldn't make a difference...

But i've come to the conclusion that i'm being such a girl about the situation and whatever happens happens! That's exactly why i say, he's just a really good friend and i'm happy to keep it that way! I'm not in for a relationship at this moment in time anyway. I'm not relying on a guy for my happiness! I'm single and loving it:)

Anyway, sorry to keep boring you guys AGAIN! It just helps me work things out this way so i appreciate your patience! Anyway, started varsity today. Wasn't too bad, considering i went to 80s last night. Our timetable isn't too bad either. Gotta wake up sparrows fart again tomorrow!
Well, i had to do a quick report for varsity and headed off for work, which may i add was SO dead! Roxy came and visited after work and i met a friend of hers Shorne which is such an AWESOME guy! He's so cool to talk to cause he's on the same wavelength as i am. He's excellent at graffiti, it's actually amazing and he's just applied at this modelling agency. He really does look like amodel so they approved and told him to just beef up a bit. He really is a sweet guy and so full of compliments!

Other than that, i'm home from work. Just realised that my times posted for my blogs are incorrect? Anyway... it've spent way too much time on this thing today!

I'm going to sleep now!
Sweet dreams*Mwah*

Is he playing mindgames with me?

Hey all!

Let me just start off by saying that i had an awesome time last night!
It all started off with dinner at an Italian restaurant for my gran's birthday in Hilllcrest.
I wasn't too hungry but surprisingly enough i managed to finish a dish by the name of Capatelli.
It's an tangy dish consisting of the penne pasta, filled with spinach, and coated in a creamy Roquefort sauce.Now i know what many of you are thinking at the moment but come on guys, it's a classic cheese and i love it! I flushed it down with a Southerns, lime and lemonade.Dessert? Didn't even consider it!
Now many of you may or may not know that my family can eat. When i say eat, i mean eat! I just do the mains and one or two drinks. Starters would happen occasionally but not often unless i share. May i just add that carla has now become my new partner at sharing starters!

Well.. moving on from that crap, Roxy came to pick me up from dinner and we went back to my house to get ready, straighten our hair etc. So squeezed into a little mini skirt, short enough to make me blush-kiddin:) Anyway, slapped on the makeup, slipped on the Stiletto heels and straightened our hair. Our hair was so.. straight it was ridiculously AWESOME! Sorry... moving on...

We left my house at roughly 9:45pm and picked Roxy's cousin up from the cricket at Kingsmead Stadium. We ended up at 80s and headed straight for the bar, where i broke loose from my famous spin and had a Savannah with lemon to start the evening off. I had no intentions drinking too much as i knew i had to sit through lectures the next day.
We hit the dance floor and the place was pumping. At first it looked like McDonald's playplace but it soon became a little more of the older crowd. We met up with a friend Mike and all his friends. They were really great guys and a lot of fun. I ended up arriving home at about 2am and crashed. OK so you want the juicy part right?
Well here it is... i saw him...

Yip that's it. I saw my 'potentially hot friend' from afar. I wasn't too keen approaching him first and thought i'd keep dancing. Besides, i'm always the one to approach him first and i never chase! It was like a reoccurance of Joe's where we both knew that we had seen each other but was just 'testing'. Although i was pretty sure this time, he hadn't known that i knew that he was there. (sorry for all the confusion but hope you keeping up) It was like i could see him from the corner of my eye looking at me, so i knew he had seen me, cause it happened a couple of time. Anyway, what made me so pissed off was that he started playing my game and gave it back to me. He starts chatting up a girl right NEXT to me! I was like 'aaargh whatever!'
A little later, we caught each other's eye and eventually he ended up dancing with us etc.
It's so awesome how we can have such a comfortable relationship with each other that either way we know it won't jeopordise the friendship... or will it?

You see, i'm generally good at reading people but i just cannot read him. He gives such mixed signals! Sometimes i generally think that there could be more from his side and i'm not going to go into detail why (sorry guys buy i gotta have a little bit of privacy in my own life too.. will let you in on so much and thats it:) Other times, i'm not sure. I think we both just love the flirting part of it but don't want anything to happe.I think what makes it difficult is that we're not in an exactlt perfect environment for conversation. I mean, what if all this can jeopordise our friendship and what if it does? I mean.. you may not believe me but i wouldn't want anything to happen between us. Ya he's hot and all and we're so alike in many ways, but i don't think i would want it to go further than this. I think he's the same. And he's a guy AND a rugby player! There are probably SO many girls out there chasing after him! I always tell him that but he doesn't believe it. Let me let you in on alittle more...

A year ago, over sms i told him that he deserves an awesome girl and he replied
'If i could get an awesome girl, it would be you. The problem is this girl doesn' want me.'
That's to cut a long and complicated story short. I don't know what to believe hey. Like i say, maybe it will effect our friendship because we both get kinda jeoulous if we see each other with another guy/girl. What if i start giving him the wrong impression and he tries to back off or something?
I'm really not prepared to risk it hey...

Please guys.. let me know what you think cause your say means so much!
otherwise thanks for lending me an ear*

Mwah*

It's frikkin impossible...

Well, hey all!

Let me just start off by telling you that i woke up this morning and headed off to the Pavillion again today! (Went yesterday) It was a good drive, apart from the eldery gentleman nearly knocking me off the road, because he carelessly hadn't checked his blindspot or indicated whatsoever. I must add that people should be doing this more often!

I think i'm already broke and i haven't even hit the 10th! Usually i tend to make it to the 10th which is ridiculous:)
Anyway, i've come to the conclusion that for me it is impossible to walk in and out of the Pavillion, and not walk away with something in your hand! Anyway, yesterday i walked out with a parsle consisting of underwear, a bracelet, jewellery and a bag. Today i walked away with another parsle of underwear, more jewellery, and yip.... another bag! The bag i bought today is a really really really nice bag and i'l try post a picture of a similar one at some stage!

Well.. i'm just about to get ready for my dinner tonight as well as 80's.
Nothing new to tell you yet. Will try add a new post by tonight, but i may be pretty buggard and i'm expecting i'l just crash, considering i have to get up early for my first day back at varsity tomorow.

Sorry for the bore guys but will chat soon!
Mwah*

Girls will be girls...

I firstly want to send out a general letter of apology acknowledging those of whom i may have offended in my previous posts. It has come to my attention that one or two individuals found it offensive that i post stories about my 'potentially hot friend', my ex or any other individual which may be so catagorized under the male species.

Truth be told that every girl has the innate ability and desire to acknowledge one with a potentially good looking characteristic whether it be his hair, his smile, those gorgeous blue eyes, those muscles, the style of dress, the tan and so i can go on!
Guys love it too! They just tend to focus more on what's under that new sexy top and push-up bra! Or where those skinny, brown legs really lead to!

On that note... a guy has to have good style of dress! That is a real headstart to any girls heart!
There is nothing more attractive than a guy with confidence. Not too much though. It should be enough to keep a girl wondering. So often have we stumble across a guy in a club and someone would comment on a guy's style of dress. He wasn't even that good looking but that button-up, collar shirt, open far enough to show a little skin, the low cut Levis, his subtle fragrance and his hair was enough to catapult a girl across the dance floor. It's all about confidence.
I suppose it would be the same with the girls style of dress. Not too confident, but confident enough. I don't know guys... let me here what your views are. I'm interested to know*

well... on a new note... nothing much has really happened with the ex (Ross) or the
'potentially hot friend'. Sorry, wish there were.
I might be able to have a bit more insight for you by tomorrow night or even thursday!
Why? Wel... my friend and i decided we're going to 80's tomorrow night! Not becaues of him but because i wanted to go out again before startin varsity again. I start varsity on Thursday. Ya i know, going out Wednesday night, then varsity Thursday, but i'm really not gonna get so cut up about it! i'm still entitled to some form of fun.
This is my plan for tomorrow if any of you wanna know what i'm getting up to:

I'm waking up (hopefully). Might hit the Pavillion with my mom and do a little shopping. She's finished her exams (Psychology) so she's breaking loose a little.
I don't know what else for the day, but tmorrow is my grans dinner and we going to some Italian place in Hillcrest which apparently is good? roxy will pick me up on the way back from cricket, and we'l go back to her place, get ready, straighten our hair etc.
Then...80s it is. Well... this is plan A so lets hope it'l still happen. Maybe i'l see my potential cause him and his friends were considering it, but i'm not going to cut myself about it if he aint there. I'm going for my last jol before varsity! So, hopefull it'l still happen and i'l let you know how it goes!

Otherwise... thats it from me for now!
Mwah* Mwah* Mwah*

I saw him at the bar again...

Anyway... before i start off with him, let me just add a little thing about the ex.
Read my previous blog to get the story. Remember he told me about his new girlfriend? Anyway... i'm off the Joe Cools tonight for a good jol and i get this sms from the ex:

Ross: So on a scale from one to ten, how bumbed are you with me?

(huff/puff)....aaargh... honestly get over yourself now! I didn't say that but was definately thinking it! I bet he thinks i'm sitting at home, balling my eyes out and 'ignoring him' as he always says i do. Truth is, i'm sitting at joe's with a drink in my hand, chatting to a group of good people and snapping my fingers to the beats of the music:) So i haven't replied. That can wait a while:)

Onto this 'potentially hot friend' of mine:
I smsed him, knowing he was in the area, letting him know that we'll be at Joe Cools tonight. I didnt ask him or anything but kinda just let him know. Coincidentally, his reply was:

'Snap. great minds think alike. I'm busy driving there as i sms. See you now. Was a last minute thing.'

So anyway.. this is the funny part. I arrive at Joe Cools with my friends Roxy and Heather. Walk in, grab a drink and kinda suss out the scene but not search. I never search:) So i spotted him, but played it a bit. Pointed him out to my two friends and avoided eye contact with him. I was waiting to see whether or not he had spotted me out and whether or not he would approach me first. We grabbed a drink and hit the dance floor. Half an hour later, i'm thinking surely he must have seen me by now! So i make the move:

'Hey man. You here?'

His response was:

'Yip and i know you've seen me, and i've seen you. Just waiting for you to come say hello, i'm just trying to see something. Sorry just testing'

I was like ah ha how frikkin blind! Anyway, the three of us headed for the dance floor and he was nowhere in site. So i tried not to make it obvious but i was just scanning the place to see if he were anywhere. I turned around and i saw him watching me from a far. Blind! Anyway...
the evening was great! I met a couple of his friends and they were keen on my friends which was pretty funny!I just find it sometimes difficult to talk to somebody in that sort of environment. You can't hear a word they're saying! So we struggled a little bit when it came to having long conversations. It would have been awesome if we could chat more. Was pretty funny- this guy was dancing next to me and he was pretty annoying so my friends told me they were going to get a drink. After following them, this guy wants to carry on dancing with me. But i don't wanna be rude so i tell him, that i'm coming back etc. Anyway, at that moment my 'potentially, hot friend' from the other side of the club came and took my hand, and walked with me to the bar. Wait for it..... aaaaahhhhh:)
We really had an awesome time together though and it's an evening i'll never forget.

There's just like the chemistry there and everything and the attraction is there but it just aint happening. And like i say, in some sense i think we're both scared of ruining things between us, or hurting one another. I'm cool if we were to just stay friends i guess.

Anyway, we ended up leaving at about 1:00am, after finding out whether a guy working behind the bar had a girflfriend or not. It wasn't for me but for Roxy. I kind of mbarrassed her by telling the barman that she thought he was cute. (She did) So he said he thought she was cute too. After going back later, finds out he's gotta girlfriend anyway. He was such a cool guy with a good heart and good sense of humour!

Anyway... so that's it for now. Hope you managing to keep up with all this new news!
**Sweet dreams**

"Hope that doesn't hurt you".... he says!

On Sunday 4th February, Sms reads as follows:

Hey Kle glad to see the ignoring of me was only temporary. Saw ur bro and girlfriend whilst dropping garths dad at rugby- wondered if you were there. So the hols come to an end at last? You looking forward to the busy year? Mine has started way to busy. Just to let you know Lyndall and i are now dating- hope that doesn't hurt you,as always i don't intend to hurt. Hope to see you around. Ross

Um... hold on a minute! I think you should read my previous blog dude! It's not one of those heartbreaker blogs i use to write. May i just mention that your name isn't gnawing at me anymore but instead i've moved on and realised that i want something way better and that my life is more than just hoping for a relationship that i may not really want and that i'm not wasting my life away being cut up over something like this!

It's quite funny recieving an sms like that after a night like last night! Wrong timing man! It's been how long since we broke up? You really think i'm still holding on?
And to the readers out there... Read two blogs back.
In this blog, Ross sends an sms telling me that i'm on his mind?? I even explained the situation and gave you options A,B,C or D.

Well it's a pretty screwed up story now so i really don't know what the answer is! Is he just trying to prove a point?
Anyway... If you want to read further and a bit of a lighter note...
Please Please Please read the next blog:) (the one before this one i.e. the previous blog:)

Anyway.. Luv ya guys for hearing me out*
Mwah*

He's just a 'friend'...

So where does it start...

Let me tell you about my day yesterday firstly.
I woke up, had to do a bit of grocery shopping and then headed to a braai at Steph's house.
Now Steph is my best friend from school and she had a fairwell for a frind of ours that is leaving to train for rugby in Austrailia.

With intentions of going to the rugby Sharks vs Blue Bulls match, i could not stay at the braai for long. i had to keep a good track of time throughout the day. This include backtracking the amount of time it'l take us to get there, how long i would take to get ready and do my hair, what time we meeting the others etc etc. So i left the braai at roughly 1:30pm.

Arring home, i was told to be ready by 2:30. Travelling there was fine but parking was ridiculously packed! We drove around for 2HOURS trying to find parking! As we approached a new entrance, we were asked whether or not we had a permit card or not.. Obviously as you guessed... we didn't. Eventually, after finding some parking next to a broken-down shed, we managed to take our seats just before half time. So as we sat down, the stadium flocked for drinks and food.

Anyway, remember this friend i told you about? We get on so well and he's one of those friends that you can flirt with but you know that whatever happens, it won't jeopordise the friendship?
IT kinda works both ways with us. There's the attraction from both sides but it's just all for the fun of it. I've known this guy for about 5 or 6 years now and we've stayed on contact ever since.
If you read our smses, it's as if we were together and everytime we see each other, it's like nothing else matters. But, we always kinda leave it there.
He plays for the Sharks Rugby Acadamy (A lot of my friends may know exactly who i'm talking about now)

Well, we both said we would meet up sooner or later throughout the evening becasue we both had the same plans- Rugby and then 80s.
So i only ended up seeing him at 80s and this is how it happened.During the rugby we said we would hook up at 80s. I walk into 80s and spot him at a bar, with his phone in his hand.
Anyway, he said he was busy smsing me and had just phoned me but i left my phone in the car so only got it afterwards. Oh my, it was so awesome to see him and he looked SO SO hot! Now let me just add that i'm very fussy when it comes to guys:) But he really looked like a guy from Archers Aqua:)

Anyway... i'm not going to write down the exact details because that would just be too gay and invasive:) that's for me to know*It would also make me sound like a real girl! Boy meets girl.... they stared deeply into each others eyes sorta stuff:) Sorry i'm not going to do that but what i am going to tell you is that it gets better and better everytime we see each other. He treats me so well and it sometimes feels like we are together. I guess my attraction for him has grown to a much greater extent, but to be honest with you, i'm just seeing what's happening i guess. How i see it at the moment... he really is just a friend*....

A little bit more on the ex...

Welll... it's been a frikkin busy week for me! Just been doing the odds and ends.
Worked tonight but just gonna cut the story short.
Throught the evening, i consistantly check my phone for any messages or plans to meet with a friend after work.
Tonight i had three:
1) From the other hostess asking whether or not i was working tonight
2) A friend Daniel, requesting we go to rugby tomorrow night, sharks vs blue vulls and hit 80s after for a good jol.
3) THE EX....

What actually makes the situation funny is that i actually have his number on my phone as
THE EX. It adds a bit of humour every time i receive an sms or phonecall from him rather than the name Ross.

Anyyway, his mom smsed me on Wednesday:

'Been thinking about you and hope you have a wonderful day. May all your dreams and wishes come true.'

I thought it was really sweet and she's always had a kind, caring heart!
Then tonight i recieve the message from my ex:

'Hey u. Had you on my mind alot lately. Hope you're doing superbly well...(asked bit about varsity) Well, drop me an sms when you get a minute.'

So have i? No not yet... I will but i'm not going to reply straight away. Don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to play with the guy, but just not yet...

So this is the situation. We broke up. His dad passed away and the breakup was just about immediate. He needed some 'time and space'. Months pass and heard a rumour he had a new girlfriend. After confronting him about it, finds out it wasn't true ( and i know for a fact he wasn't lying) There were feelings on his behalf but things kind of fell through between the two of them (so i'm led to believe). Now he's contacting me.

Choose one of the following:

A) He's lonely and needs that companion
B) He's sussing out what's up in my life or if anyone's taken his place
C) He's screwing with my head
D) He really does miss me

Well... let me know your answers if any. I don't know. I guess i wont know unless i give it some time. I was asked tonight whether i would take him back or not. My response: He's going to have to work a lot harder if he's even considering it,
I believe when our hearts are broken by someone we learn to love, they take a piece of us. I believe trust has a lot to play in the situation. You trust the person, that they will never hurt you if you gave them your whole heart. They take that heart and crush it. That's when it hurts. So somtimes we need to think twice about giving our hearts away, even if we do believe we can trust them.

Thanks for hearing me out. Your opinions mean a lot to me*
Sweet Dreams*

Material girl, living in a material world...

Ah man... my love for fashion has grown!

I don't know if i ever mentioned that i had intentions of taking fashion design or going into some form of fashion line. It was however overuled by my other choice of taking the degree i'm doing today...Audiology.

I really love my degree and i think it's probably better off than fashion design but i reckon once i'v got my degree behind me i'm going to further explore my passion for fashion and the fashion field!

Anyway... was just a thought to add.

On that note... i bought an awesome bag today! A bit pricy but worth every penny*

Chat tomorrow*