Friday, May 25, 2007

You love ya girl?

HaHa... i know this is coming from a female but i think this is pretty funny! Dont get anny ideas though!

The Proper Way To Treat A Woman.
Type:
Just for Fun - Inside Jokes
Description:
The rules on how to treat are the following. If you have ideas for more please feel free to contribute.

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).

3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, and grab the other girl's ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for mile so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her our jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop complaining about the cold right now, you're going to be complaining about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things (like basketball).

15. After you have made love, say "listen toots, put your knickers back on and go make me a cup of tea". If she laughs, is not out of the bed within 3 seconds, is not back within 3.5 minutes, or the tea is crap/does not come with decent biscuits (or any combination of the above) tell her that it's over until she learns to make better cups of tea; a Woman loves to better herself - give her the chance to do so.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about).

21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.

22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects arent important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can.

25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited, then don't call.

26. If you’re ever travelling on public transport in a foreign country with your girlfriend, make sure you stand near the automatic doors. When the bus/train is at a platform and the doors are about to close, push her off (if she falls over it’s a bonus as she is less likely to be able to re-board said vehicle). This will leave her stranded in a strange place with no way of getting home…. What an adventure! And will also teach her to never say your relationship lacks ‘spice’ again.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

You gotta love this game!

Ok so even though the sharks lost on Saterday as a result of Steve Walsh's mere stupidity, how can you not love this game?!:







Drop goal attempt from Francois Steyn




A littlee moment shared by all..










Run boy..

































I'm a little teapot...




















Gottta love it!

Monday, May 7, 2007

Squinting through my black eye..

Ok so here i am.. trying to find some form of motivation whatsoever to write this post.. Let me start off right about here: I got a black eye!

That's it! Let me tell you, the other girl isn't looking so well off herself! Only kidding.. This is my pathetically vague excuse for a story of how i got my black eye! It was such a sense of relief and hope, finding out that fridays were a no-o for varsity as our lectures for that particular module have come to an end. It does however appear that i end up either having to still grace them with my presence by either handing in a report of some sort, or ,like last weekend, end up sick in bed, coughing and spluttering until my whole wall is saturated with the germs.. ok sorry.. that was a little extreme. But this previous friday i thought was going to be an absolute bliss, turned out to be a little painful.

Our varsity requires that we have the Hepatitis A and B vaccinations, in order to cover us to some degree of immunization. Anything to keep their hands clean of course. So here i go waddling along to the doctor, after having dropped my little pooch off at the pooch parlour for a trim and blowwave. After having the little jab in my left arm, i gracefully stand up and approach the exit of the doctors rooms, leaving the waiting area, as i gracefully wave all the nurses, doctors and receptionists a farewell! A feeling of dizziness envelops me, as my body starts to tingle as i start walking towards the car park. Nevr fear, for i though i'l just approach my car and take a couple of minutes to rejuvinate. Nevr mind that.. I pass out, hit my head against the brick wall, approaching me on the right hand side, before hitting the floor with immense force. Ha ha.. What happened next? I woke up in the doctors room with an ice pack on my right eye, a roasty up my right arm, a couple of bruises and lack of memory. That was the scary part, having being knocked out and waking up to having no clue whatsoever where you are and why you there.
Eventually a couple of minutes passed, as they checked my blood pressure and allowed me to hop back into my car and drive home. Ok at the time i was in no state to think realistically and all, but how the hell could they say their farewells and allow me to drive home after being knocked out for some time?

So, it eventually became the swinging joke and i managed to get outta work on friday night and just sleep. Saterday, surprisingly my mother managed to convince me to join her at the pavillion. Usually i go without any hesitation whatsoever, however my head felt like i had been hit by a ton of bricks.. Well. i guess in some sense, that's what happened. Alls good though, i managed to score a pair of boots and a jacket outta my mom (provided by my father of course).
Hey.. i should knock the other eye too! Roxy and i now officiallymake a good match- her with her badaged up nneck and lack of thyroid gland and me with my blue eye. So we decided to do dvds then and there on saterday evening, with the company of Troy and Daniel. A desperate call for more badages lead the four of us driving to the nearby pharmacy. I'm surprised security hadn't arrived after the pharmacists had seen us all beaten and bandaged up, standing next to two males. They were suspecting something, im sure. There appeared to be no further concerns regarding my eye, until the others noticed inner bleeding in my eye,, aaargh,, sorry to put you off. Luckily it's just in the corner and having approached the doctor again, i was told that it should clear within one to two weeks! So the evening only ended at roughly 4am in the morning for us we eventually managed to fall asleep. Sunday i had to wake up at like sparrows fart, as i had to rush off home and attempt learning for a test i had to write today.
These were my initial intentions, until i took a couple of myprodols and crashed on my bed for the day, only having woken up at 7pm and ready to learn.

So today was a bit of a strain, and i managed to gain a bit of symnpathy from one of my lecturers, of whom let me off for her lectures for the day. ok so i took a little detour on the way home, bypassing the pavillion and managed to buy a pair of heels from Foshini's. That made my day a little:) It's so amazing how people react to a situation like this. Some people asked out of complete awe, whilst others tried to avoid the situation and spoke to me with a smile, acting as though it was something as small as a mosquito bite. Ha ha.. meantime i know they're probably thinking i was in a fight or summin:)

So here i am, sitting in front of my laptop as my eye changes from black to blue to purple to any other colour you could actually think of. Luckily i generally wear a lot of black around my eyes:) Anyway.. all i knoow is this week is gonna be a beating with the amounts of presentations and tests. I managed to squint through the first test today and now just waiting to get through the next three weeks, until we're on study leave- yeh!

Rox and i had a little fun with the camera.. i'm gonna try get the pics from her on my eye and her neck and wil try my best to post them sooon.. ha ha!
For now.. im over this..

Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Back to the good ol days...

Ok, so i stumbled across a couple of my very good buddies of mine from school and managed to get a couple of pics froom them. they'l probably kill me if they knew their pics were here but im over it:) i may have mentioned them in my previous posts:

this is Camilla (left) and little Claire(right). Often we were called 'claire-squared'.. im sure you're wise enough to figure out why...












well done Einsteins... claire and Camilla again




















From left to right: michelle, Cari and my bestest most sexiest and gorgeous bud- Steph
We all did the whole high school thing together, but there's a whole bunch of girls missin.


























from left to right: claire, debs, Lindi and Steph
I still get to see Linds and Steph often but debs is overseas and Claire's studyin at Maritzberg

























our good friend Alex (maritzberg), Debs, linds and Claire















Ok so i knoow its not much but il scratch thru my albums and let you in on a little more later on okay? Take care!
mwah*

Tuesday, May 1, 2007

Just too cute*
























Ok.. so my brother kinda swayed me into looking at his blog, hence the reason i've posted these cute little nookies up. He kinda huffed and puffed when i told him i wanted to post a couple on my blog but i got over it and posted some anyway. i tried to post as little as possible, but how could you? These things are just way too cute!




























Still alive...

Oh my word... sorry my dear friends for having you hanging so long with this blog!
Anyway.. little bit of catching up but cant say that much has happened over the past few days cause varsity has been torturing lately and im really over it..

Moving on.. So where do i begin?
How bout i give you a little itinary of my long weekend hhmm?
Ok so not to the extreme but will let you in on a little of what's happening in my life:

Man, Thursday hit me like a ton of bricks. We had to go do hearing screeninng at a school, however my body was tuning me otherwise. There we were, five of us like clumped in a single room, closed doors and windows (to prevent any ambient noise), coughing, spluttering, sniffing and snorting away. That's it, the germs from one rather sickly indivdual spread like a forest fire until the room became one big feeding ground! So after screening, what was suppose to be a double lecture, ended up me lying in bed with the sniffles.. aargh.
Thursday and Friday evenings were both spent in my miserable state at work, greeting every customer with friendly smile, yet sniggering under my breath, knowing that those dam customers that were so impatient for their seats would soon have a little dose of what i was experiencing, if they got too close.

Moving along. I know.. i didnt have much of a phuza-Thursday or Friday cause i wasnt up for a jol. I even had to turn one of the guys from work down, as he had asked me out for coffee after work.
Friday, being the public holiday, i managed to roll outta bed and visit my dear friend Roxy, in hospital, minus the flowers or chocolates. We even contemplated askin one of the staff at the hospital whether we could maybe borrow a set of their arrangements, displayed on the countertop and would replace it. Anyway, it was just Troy and myself that went annd visted her. Murphy's law, she phones as i'm standing at the entrance of the hospital. So i keep probing for her to talk as we waddle our way up the elevator and across the passages (she has no idea we're in the hospital) I got her to explain to me every bunch of flowers she had received, until i walked into her ward with the phone in my hand.. Oh my.. how good was that hey? I was so chuffed with myself....(snigger) (snort)

So we chilled a bit there and made ourselves at home, as we left creases on their finely laid linen.
Troy and i then headed for musgrave, where we mannged to quickly suckle down a coffee and beer (he had beer.. not me.. aaargh). It was time to head for the sunset, displayed across the horizon of the Durban roads undergoing construction...yeh.. what a pretty site.
So as mentioned before, the evening was spent at work, until i was ready to get home and slip into something warm and swig a glass of Corenza C.

Saterday, we proceeded with the normal procedure of following up on the shops at Pavillion.
So apart from walking away with a magazine i bought nix. I did however mannage to make a friennd at the Billbong shop near YDE, where she spontaniously approached me about her liking to my bag.Her intentions were to hit Panama Room and she had just bought the most divine Guess shoes which suited my bag. The end result of the conversation was a 30%-off-any-item-anytime-you-want sort of offer, under the breath of her voice. So i was like... ah no thanks.. ah shame.. ah are you sure... ah ok then... ah if i have to....ah ok YES PLEASE. What a good heart! Im sure she just wanted my bag, but anyway, we exchanged numbers and gonna do the whole coffee thing. She's so similiar to me.. thats what makes it so funnny! I dunno what that means, cause im still trying tyo find myself but we really do get on well.

So then we proceeded with a table full of the afrikaans delicacies of biltong, peanuts, raisons and Carla's touch of English by contributing a bowel of cupcakes, as we all slumped in front of the t.v. waiting to watch the SHARKS VS. LIONS 33-3 win. What a difference when Peterson can actually catch the frikkin ball! That evening was spent watching the 'Hostle' dvd and the 'Goal' dvd. Oh my... no jokes, i actually shed a tear or two in the movie Goal.. it was just so touching!
Hostle on the other hand... was like a little love movie. No literally.. this movie served more as a porn movie than anything else with a hint of horror, just so someone can label it as a 'horror' to make it look not so bad. Ok so i guess it was just the beginning of the movie that was probably the worst. The rest of the movie consisted of cutting off fingers etc...yeh.. aint my type of chill!

So then we hit Sunday... We approached John Dory's with empty stomachs for my uncles birthday. Lunch for me consisted of a John House salad with two glasses of semi sweet wine on the side. Oh ya.. and had a bit of cheesy garlic, shared amongst the table before the mains.
I then headed to the hospital again, picking up Troy and Daniel on the way, where we surprised Roxy for the second time. We spent some time there and as it started getting a little dark and quite in the hospital, the three of us went for a quick drink at Firkins in Pavillion. The atmosphere was really awesoem there cause they had a bannd going and everything.
An sms on my phone then swayed me to Tappas in Waterfall, where i joined Lauren, Jono and Leon for a couple of drinks there. Well..ok i had one. Man.. by the time i got home... i was exhausted. I can't stop sleepin man!

Then.... monday... sorry man.. you can stop reading here if this post has been way too much fro you to comprehennd for now:)
Ya.. The day was spent doing a frikkin assignment. our lecturer said she was gonnna have lectures, eben though we told her that no one is coming in. There's onnly like 6 of us in the class and no jokes.. but when they tell you they aint comin in for lectures.. think about it.. No.. but i still think she went in.. So Monday evening (last night) i went to a braai at my friend, Simon's house (laurens bro).. The evenning was really awesoem.. felt like new years all over again.. What made it a little more exciting was the fact the my ex was there.. Ok .. not exciting... just a little awkward. And so weird.. havent seen him since like the last time we broke up, which was a bout a year ago annd..... i feel absolutley nothing! I honestly thought it would have affected me but no affect whatsoever.. Bring me a lie-detector test right now.... Il prove it!
On that note.. i had another little distraction on the side.. troy and i were smsing each other and i think that took my mind off things a bit... i dunno how i feel but man he treats me so well and he's got a real good heart.

So here i am.. sitting in front of my laptop on a tuesday morning, no varsity.. this could be life for me.. aargh.. dreading the weeks ahead but i know it has to be done..

K.. so going to braai at out one today for Dan's birthday...
keep ya all update though... k??!!
Mwah*