I lost a friend, yet gained my self..

Hhmm.. approaching the doors of Stokers on the fine evening of Monday, it came to my suspicion that summin was just not right.

Ok so i received an sms that day to meet a couple of fellow school friends at Stokers as the clock strikes 7:00pm- Well actually that for us means 7:30pm.
So i arrive at 7:30pm with no one from school in sight just yet, except for her.....
Thats it, i saw her as she was swaying in the arms of her boyfriend, and as i most kindly tapped her on the shoulder and acknoweledged her, the presence of a stranger greeted me with shock and surprise. Don't pretend that you're excited to see me again and try make up a number of excuses why you haven't had my nnumber. Dont even try to make me feel better by telling me you've been trying to find it for years. We all belong in the same group of friends, of which every one of them has my number.
Then there is the small talk with the little smile that says 'im pretending i'm happy for you but i'm not really', as she subtly marks her territory in her boyfriend.
It's kind of like, 'look what i have...oh wait.... your's is coming right?... did he go to the bathroom?... where is he?' Yip... that sort of look!

Lets just say we were best friends. Really good friends. Until the earth took a couple of turns around the sun and her head grew a little as she was constantly approached by new guys, requesting for her number. What can i say? I have nothing to hold against her anymore.
I just wish she could stop being so fake. She has this ability to make you feel so inferior when you're around her. High school was a constant battle of dress-to-impress. I LOVED high school at the time but so often you get caught up in the curent of life that you never actually stop to realise who your true friends are. Man have a learnt a lot since i've left school.

I've learnt to accept the fact that there will be people out there that you may not get on with, even if you fight with every inch of your body to agree to. I've had friends tthat have both found and lost love, life, friends, family and even their own self. Through the interaction with these people, i learn to grow an attachment and learn to love these people because they make life worth living and not because of their clothes, their boyfriends or evenn their intelligence. Instead, they are the people i can run to when i feel like i'm choking and drowning in the floods of life. They gradually lift me up from my emptiness and fill me with a sense of hope and the ability to dream beyond my life now. They meet me in rags rather than beauty and they don't judge but rather they listen.

Often i look back at the people who, played a large role in my life, moulding me to become who i am today and i begin to appreciate every person for that. I just don't like it when people are false. Being false won't build me as a person, it won't offer guidanec and support and it definnately won't make me admire you at all. Don't show me your physical beauty, you wealth, your boyfriend or even your intelligence. Instead offer me guidance, show me love and compassion and above all, show me your weaknesses and rags too.Don't ever make me feel as though i'm the only one with the faults and that my life needs to be adjusted to become more like yours. Then what do you have to offer?

I will continue to greet you and make every effort to meet you where you are at. Coffee would even be great, but don't expect that respect to come back in a day. At the same time, i wil not curse this time in my life as it has drawn me to other friends and from there, these friends have become my true soul mates. I have never been in a situation where i dislike someone. But as i sit here, pondering upon Monday night's conversation, i await for that sms of yours...