It's frikkin impossible...

Well, hey all!

Let me just start off by telling you that i woke up this morning and headed off to the Pavillion again today! (Went yesterday) It was a good drive, apart from the eldery gentleman nearly knocking me off the road, because he carelessly hadn't checked his blindspot or indicated whatsoever. I must add that people should be doing this more often!

I think i'm already broke and i haven't even hit the 10th! Usually i tend to make it to the 10th which is ridiculous:)
Anyway, i've come to the conclusion that for me it is impossible to walk in and out of the Pavillion, and not walk away with something in your hand! Anyway, yesterday i walked out with a parsle consisting of underwear, a bracelet, jewellery and a bag. Today i walked away with another parsle of underwear, more jewellery, and yip.... another bag! The bag i bought today is a really really really nice bag and i'l try post a picture of a similar one at some stage!

Well.. i'm just about to get ready for my dinner tonight as well as 80's.
Nothing new to tell you yet. Will try add a new post by tonight, but i may be pretty buggard and i'm expecting i'l just crash, considering i have to get up early for my first day back at varsity tomorow.

Sorry for the bore guys but will chat soon!
Mwah*

Girls will be girls...

I firstly want to send out a general letter of apology acknowledging those of whom i may have offended in my previous posts. It has come to my attention that one or two individuals found it offensive that i post stories about my 'potentially hot friend', my ex or any other individual which may be so catagorized under the male species.

Truth be told that every girl has the innate ability and desire to acknowledge one with a potentially good looking characteristic whether it be his hair, his smile, those gorgeous blue eyes, those muscles, the style of dress, the tan and so i can go on!
Guys love it too! They just tend to focus more on what's under that new sexy top and push-up bra! Or where those skinny, brown legs really lead to!

On that note... a guy has to have good style of dress! That is a real headstart to any girls heart!
There is nothing more attractive than a guy with confidence. Not too much though. It should be enough to keep a girl wondering. So often have we stumble across a guy in a club and someone would comment on a guy's style of dress. He wasn't even that good looking but that button-up, collar shirt, open far enough to show a little skin, the low cut Levis, his subtle fragrance and his hair was enough to catapult a girl across the dance floor. It's all about confidence.
I suppose it would be the same with the girls style of dress. Not too confident, but confident enough. I don't know guys... let me here what your views are. I'm interested to know*

well... on a new note... nothing much has really happened with the ex (Ross) or the
'potentially hot friend'. Sorry, wish there were.
I might be able to have a bit more insight for you by tomorrow night or even thursday!
Why? Wel... my friend and i decided we're going to 80's tomorrow night! Not becaues of him but because i wanted to go out again before startin varsity again. I start varsity on Thursday. Ya i know, going out Wednesday night, then varsity Thursday, but i'm really not gonna get so cut up about it! i'm still entitled to some form of fun.
This is my plan for tomorrow if any of you wanna know what i'm getting up to:

I'm waking up (hopefully). Might hit the Pavillion with my mom and do a little shopping. She's finished her exams (Psychology) so she's breaking loose a little.
I don't know what else for the day, but tmorrow is my grans dinner and we going to some Italian place in Hillcrest which apparently is good? roxy will pick me up on the way back from cricket, and we'l go back to her place, get ready, straighten our hair etc.
Then...80s it is. Well... this is plan A so lets hope it'l still happen. Maybe i'l see my potential cause him and his friends were considering it, but i'm not going to cut myself about it if he aint there. I'm going for my last jol before varsity! So, hopefull it'l still happen and i'l let you know how it goes!

Otherwise... thats it from me for now!
Mwah* Mwah* Mwah*

I saw him at the bar again...

Anyway... before i start off with him, let me just add a little thing about the ex.
Read my previous blog to get the story. Remember he told me about his new girlfriend? Anyway... i'm off the Joe Cools tonight for a good jol and i get this sms from the ex:

Ross: So on a scale from one to ten, how bumbed are you with me?

(huff/puff)....aaargh... honestly get over yourself now! I didn't say that but was definately thinking it! I bet he thinks i'm sitting at home, balling my eyes out and 'ignoring him' as he always says i do. Truth is, i'm sitting at joe's with a drink in my hand, chatting to a group of good people and snapping my fingers to the beats of the music:) So i haven't replied. That can wait a while:)

Onto this 'potentially hot friend' of mine:
I smsed him, knowing he was in the area, letting him know that we'll be at Joe Cools tonight. I didnt ask him or anything but kinda just let him know. Coincidentally, his reply was:

'Snap. great minds think alike. I'm busy driving there as i sms. See you now. Was a last minute thing.'

So anyway.. this is the funny part. I arrive at Joe Cools with my friends Roxy and Heather. Walk in, grab a drink and kinda suss out the scene but not search. I never search:) So i spotted him, but played it a bit. Pointed him out to my two friends and avoided eye contact with him. I was waiting to see whether or not he had spotted me out and whether or not he would approach me first. We grabbed a drink and hit the dance floor. Half an hour later, i'm thinking surely he must have seen me by now! So i make the move:

'Hey man. You here?'

His response was:

'Yip and i know you've seen me, and i've seen you. Just waiting for you to come say hello, i'm just trying to see something. Sorry just testing'

I was like ah ha how frikkin blind! Anyway, the three of us headed for the dance floor and he was nowhere in site. So i tried not to make it obvious but i was just scanning the place to see if he were anywhere. I turned around and i saw him watching me from a far. Blind! Anyway...
the evening was great! I met a couple of his friends and they were keen on my friends which was pretty funny!I just find it sometimes difficult to talk to somebody in that sort of environment. You can't hear a word they're saying! So we struggled a little bit when it came to having long conversations. It would have been awesome if we could chat more. Was pretty funny- this guy was dancing next to me and he was pretty annoying so my friends told me they were going to get a drink. After following them, this guy wants to carry on dancing with me. But i don't wanna be rude so i tell him, that i'm coming back etc. Anyway, at that moment my 'potentially, hot friend' from the other side of the club came and took my hand, and walked with me to the bar. Wait for it..... aaaaahhhhh:)
We really had an awesome time together though and it's an evening i'll never forget.

There's just like the chemistry there and everything and the attraction is there but it just aint happening. And like i say, in some sense i think we're both scared of ruining things between us, or hurting one another. I'm cool if we were to just stay friends i guess.

Anyway, we ended up leaving at about 1:00am, after finding out whether a guy working behind the bar had a girflfriend or not. It wasn't for me but for Roxy. I kind of mbarrassed her by telling the barman that she thought he was cute. (She did) So he said he thought she was cute too. After going back later, finds out he's gotta girlfriend anyway. He was such a cool guy with a good heart and good sense of humour!

Anyway... so that's it for now. Hope you managing to keep up with all this new news!
**Sweet dreams**

"Hope that doesn't hurt you".... he says!

On Sunday 4th February, Sms reads as follows:

Hey Kle glad to see the ignoring of me was only temporary. Saw ur bro and girlfriend whilst dropping garths dad at rugby- wondered if you were there. So the hols come to an end at last? You looking forward to the busy year? Mine has started way to busy. Just to let you know Lyndall and i are now dating- hope that doesn't hurt you,as always i don't intend to hurt. Hope to see you around. Ross

Um... hold on a minute! I think you should read my previous blog dude! It's not one of those heartbreaker blogs i use to write. May i just mention that your name isn't gnawing at me anymore but instead i've moved on and realised that i want something way better and that my life is more than just hoping for a relationship that i may not really want and that i'm not wasting my life away being cut up over something like this!

It's quite funny recieving an sms like that after a night like last night! Wrong timing man! It's been how long since we broke up? You really think i'm still holding on?
And to the readers out there... Read two blogs back.
In this blog, Ross sends an sms telling me that i'm on his mind?? I even explained the situation and gave you options A,B,C or D.

Well it's a pretty screwed up story now so i really don't know what the answer is! Is he just trying to prove a point?
Anyway... If you want to read further and a bit of a lighter note...
Please Please Please read the next blog:) (the one before this one i.e. the previous blog:)

Anyway.. Luv ya guys for hearing me out*
Mwah*

He's just a 'friend'...

So where does it start...

Let me tell you about my day yesterday firstly.
I woke up, had to do a bit of grocery shopping and then headed to a braai at Steph's house.
Now Steph is my best friend from school and she had a fairwell for a frind of ours that is leaving to train for rugby in Austrailia.

With intentions of going to the rugby Sharks vs Blue Bulls match, i could not stay at the braai for long. i had to keep a good track of time throughout the day. This include backtracking the amount of time it'l take us to get there, how long i would take to get ready and do my hair, what time we meeting the others etc etc. So i left the braai at roughly 1:30pm.

Arring home, i was told to be ready by 2:30. Travelling there was fine but parking was ridiculously packed! We drove around for 2HOURS trying to find parking! As we approached a new entrance, we were asked whether or not we had a permit card or not.. Obviously as you guessed... we didn't. Eventually, after finding some parking next to a broken-down shed, we managed to take our seats just before half time. So as we sat down, the stadium flocked for drinks and food.

Anyway, remember this friend i told you about? We get on so well and he's one of those friends that you can flirt with but you know that whatever happens, it won't jeopordise the friendship?
IT kinda works both ways with us. There's the attraction from both sides but it's just all for the fun of it. I've known this guy for about 5 or 6 years now and we've stayed on contact ever since.
If you read our smses, it's as if we were together and everytime we see each other, it's like nothing else matters. But, we always kinda leave it there.
He plays for the Sharks Rugby Acadamy (A lot of my friends may know exactly who i'm talking about now)

Well, we both said we would meet up sooner or later throughout the evening becasue we both had the same plans- Rugby and then 80s.
So i only ended up seeing him at 80s and this is how it happened.During the rugby we said we would hook up at 80s. I walk into 80s and spot him at a bar, with his phone in his hand.
Anyway, he said he was busy smsing me and had just phoned me but i left my phone in the car so only got it afterwards. Oh my, it was so awesome to see him and he looked SO SO hot! Now let me just add that i'm very fussy when it comes to guys:) But he really looked like a guy from Archers Aqua:)

Anyway... i'm not going to write down the exact details because that would just be too gay and invasive:) that's for me to know*It would also make me sound like a real girl! Boy meets girl.... they stared deeply into each others eyes sorta stuff:) Sorry i'm not going to do that but what i am going to tell you is that it gets better and better everytime we see each other. He treats me so well and it sometimes feels like we are together. I guess my attraction for him has grown to a much greater extent, but to be honest with you, i'm just seeing what's happening i guess. How i see it at the moment... he really is just a friend*....

A little bit more on the ex...

Welll... it's been a frikkin busy week for me! Just been doing the odds and ends.
Worked tonight but just gonna cut the story short.
Throught the evening, i consistantly check my phone for any messages or plans to meet with a friend after work.
Tonight i had three:
1) From the other hostess asking whether or not i was working tonight
2) A friend Daniel, requesting we go to rugby tomorrow night, sharks vs blue vulls and hit 80s after for a good jol.
3) THE EX....

What actually makes the situation funny is that i actually have his number on my phone as
THE EX. It adds a bit of humour every time i receive an sms or phonecall from him rather than the name Ross.

Anyyway, his mom smsed me on Wednesday:

'Been thinking about you and hope you have a wonderful day. May all your dreams and wishes come true.'

I thought it was really sweet and she's always had a kind, caring heart!
Then tonight i recieve the message from my ex:

'Hey u. Had you on my mind alot lately. Hope you're doing superbly well...(asked bit about varsity) Well, drop me an sms when you get a minute.'

So have i? No not yet... I will but i'm not going to reply straight away. Don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to play with the guy, but just not yet...

So this is the situation. We broke up. His dad passed away and the breakup was just about immediate. He needed some 'time and space'. Months pass and heard a rumour he had a new girlfriend. After confronting him about it, finds out it wasn't true ( and i know for a fact he wasn't lying) There were feelings on his behalf but things kind of fell through between the two of them (so i'm led to believe). Now he's contacting me.

Choose one of the following:

A) He's lonely and needs that companion
B) He's sussing out what's up in my life or if anyone's taken his place
C) He's screwing with my head
D) He really does miss me

Well... let me know your answers if any. I don't know. I guess i wont know unless i give it some time. I was asked tonight whether i would take him back or not. My response: He's going to have to work a lot harder if he's even considering it,
I believe when our hearts are broken by someone we learn to love, they take a piece of us. I believe trust has a lot to play in the situation. You trust the person, that they will never hurt you if you gave them your whole heart. They take that heart and crush it. That's when it hurts. So somtimes we need to think twice about giving our hearts away, even if we do believe we can trust them.

Thanks for hearing me out. Your opinions mean a lot to me*
Sweet Dreams*

Material girl, living in a material world...

Ah man... my love for fashion has grown!

I don't know if i ever mentioned that i had intentions of taking fashion design or going into some form of fashion line. It was however overuled by my other choice of taking the degree i'm doing today...Audiology.

I really love my degree and i think it's probably better off than fashion design but i reckon once i'v got my degree behind me i'm going to further explore my passion for fashion and the fashion field!

Anyway... was just a thought to add.

On that note... i bought an awesome bag today! A bit pricy but worth every penny*

Chat tomorrow*